But why should I game with those guys anyway?

Good to get that Awkward First Post over and done with, so that I can now move on to the Difficult Second Post. But I might as well just get to the heart of what this blog is supposed to be about - gaming with family and kids. And the joys and perils that come with both.

Let's look at the most basic question of all - why should I game with those guys anyway? I'll list some of the benefits and try to address just a few of the problems that can arise (and have done!)

Family - the boons

 

1) You know them really well. Yes, this can also be a pitfall (see below) but having a thorough knowledge of your players is a fantastic bonus when you're a DM. I am much more comfortable DMing for a group of very close friends or family than a group of strangers. You know their interests, their sense of humour, and where their boundaries lie. I'm fortunate that my family enjoy a bit of banter and aren't too uptight, although I wouldn't necessarily subject them to hardcore Lamentations of the Flame Princess-style shock-fantasy.
You can also tailor games and NPCs to match their interests. You know if your dad read Tolkien five times in his youth, he is going to understand that orcs are bad. But you can also hook in players with references to more contemporary slices of pop culture like Game of Thrones, Adventure Time, or superhero movies.

See? Even the most popular show on TV (or whatever) has got dragons

2) They're available. One of the hardest things about modern gaming is finding the time to get everyone around a table at once. Families do that all the time - or at least they should. You might  live with family members, in which case they're ALWAYS available. Or else you can reserve games for special times when everyone is around, like Christmas or birthdays, and make a real occasion out of it. Instead of breaking out Ludo for the 1,158th time, try an RPG.

3) It's quality time. It's a chance to sweep away distractions, kick back and have a good time. It's a chance to be in the same room and talk (even if it is about make-believe stuff, at least it avoids the perpetual distractions of mobile phones, screens and headphones). Families don't do enough of this kind of stuff - the things that brings people and families closer together.
You don't have to be like a support group and sit in a circle discussing one another's problems. We all know that after a tough week in the office or stressful exams at school, rolling 20s and killing monsters can be just as therapeutic.

Family - the pitfalls

1) You know them really well. Yeah, just as this can be an advantage, it can equally turn against you. Particularly if you have family members that rub each other up the wrong way (and doesn't every family?)
When people know each other so well, have history going back decades and are used to sniping at one another, it can get stressful trying to keep tensions away from the table. But equally it can be beneficial to see two people who normally grate on one another, actually working together towards a common goal and helping one another out. At least most RPGs in co-operative, unlike more competitive games which can threaten inter-familial homicide in my household.

This is NOT what happens in my house when we play competitive board games

2) They're not gamers. Sure, whenever you're introducing a newbie to the world of RPGs, you're conscious that they're not experienced roleplayers. But your family may not be gamers full stop. They may lack the touchstones that so many of us take for granted. Many people interested in Dnd for example may be into video games, board games, collectible card games - or just fantasy novels, or comic books. Your family may lack any interest whatsoever and be more interested in sports and cookery. At least, that was true of mine.

3) They haven't got the time or money. Investing in a real drawn-out RPG campaign eats up several hours a week for months or even years of your life. It's a Hobby with a capital H. It also drains cash, with all the rulebooks not to mention miniatures, flip-maps and thousands of other accessories the industry is trying to sell us. Don't expect your family to do this. Don't anticipate they want to play for four hours - most "normal people" think an hour-long board game is running long. Don't expect them to buy the books. And ... brace yourself ... you're probably going to have to supply the dice. But if you're anything like me, you already have sacks full of those knocking around, right?


In the next post  I'll be look at the - ahem - joys of gaming with kids (and I mean proper kids including preschoolers, not teenagers!) and what you can do to get them interested from a young age.